The Reluctant Achiever

The Beginning

“Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” - Lewis Carroll

Have you ever found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to just quit your 9 - 5?

I guess that’s most of us, right?

Can you remember that time when you were certain that you would make a huge impact on your little corner of the world?  How do you feel about that today?  Did you do it, forget about it completely, or is it still lingering somewhere at the back of your mind?

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I came back to my home country just over 10 years ago.  I was fresh out of a broken relationship, and the sole aim in my mind was to create a safe haven for my beautiful daughter to grow up and flourish in.

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That was a goal, and I achieved it!  The first time in my life that I made an actual plan and it worked.  The beautiful girl is even more beautiful if that were possible.  And she’s now making her first tentative steps out in the world as a fully-fledged adult.  I'm so proud of both of us.

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And so here I am.  In that place that I talked about so confidently for years, knowing that it was years away.  But now it’s not.  Years away I mean.  It’s now!  And my girl is out doing her thing, and I’m here, and that nagging pull of something more is tugging insistently at my sleeve.

I wouldn’t say I’ve grown complacent exactly, more comfortable, perhaps resigned, and maybe even a little scared.  Dare I say, somewhat institutionalized?  Over time I’ve buried my dreams under the “have to's” and “need to’s”, covered them up lovingly with dust sheets in the basement of my mind.   But now they are starting to sneak out very tentatively and squint at the light, trying to remember what they were about.

I don’t want you to get me wrong.  My life has not been dull.  It has not been uneventful.  And it certainly is not lacking in achievement in the eye of the beholder.  But I'm not a natural.  More often than not, I have achieved because the prospect was delivered to my door.  I didn’t really have to plan.  I found myself in a situation, took the next logical step, and, by sheer momentum, was carried along.

But now, a middle-aged single mom to a grown-up; 10 years into a solid and uninspiring 9 to 5; achievement opportunities don’t come falling at my feet as often as they used to. 

Alanis Morrissette got it right when she said,

“life has a funny way of sneaking up on you ..”. 

The Reluctant Achiever is my story; reflections on the past, observations on the present, and a story of personal development that starts here and now.  This time I'm making a plan!  I hope that reading about my journey inspires or helps you, in some small way, to overcome your challenges and chase your dreams.

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Much love and encouragement,

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The Reluctant Achiever 

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